I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
