the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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