Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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