I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
