he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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