Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
