At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
