oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize