I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize