i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
