even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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