I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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