Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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