Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
