It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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