using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
