I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
