i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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