Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
