I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize