The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
