Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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