Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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