Got a toothbrush?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
