she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
