okay pat passed out under dana's car
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
