They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
