on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
