we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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