just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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