OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is it because I queefed?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize