I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
