You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
