so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
