the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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