I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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