are you so shy because you have an std?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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