So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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