a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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