Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
