You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
