no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
