i don't like sucking hair
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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