I must be too annoying 4 u.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
