I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
