we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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