Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
