I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
it's not cheating when I paid for it
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
