dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
