Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
