you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize