People in love make me want to vomit
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
