i think my mom watched the whole time
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize