Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
