I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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