I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize