yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
