So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
