i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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