he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
