Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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