I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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