The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
