I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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