At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize